Double Take
by Maggsie
Summary: It's been 14 months, and the unbreakable Jennifer Jareau is hellbent on self-destruction? Who will be there to catch her when she falls?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Criminal Minds, but I so wish I did...

I know I shouldn't be starting another story with 4 already on the go, but I just had to get this out! I've finished studying till September, so my aim is to update one of the stories every few days. Sound fair?

I originially wrote this as a CSI story, but I couldn't get it to work so now it's a CM fic!

Thank you **DarkBard0 **for her awesome betaing, her constant support and for being my inspiration.

Enjoy!

X X X

After paying and thanking the taxi driver, Jennifer Jareau walked along the pavement of her house. Swaying from side to side, she suddenly felt her legs go from beneath her, and before she knew it she was on the ground.

"Whoopsie," she whispered as she gradually managed to get up with the help from the woman that she had picked up for the night. A woman she couldn't even remember the name of.

"Woah, are you okay there?"

"Yeah, i'm fine. Let's just get inside."

She pulled her arm away from the woman, though still not feeling steady on her feet. She looked down at her dark navy jeans and her light blue shirt and wiped the dirt off that had arisen from the fall. Finally reaching her destination, she fumbled in her bag for her keys; finally finding them, all she had to do was unlock the door. After several attempts of putting the key in the key-hole, she successfully made it into her home. Knocking over a picture of a 2 year-old Henry as she entered, JJ put her finger to her mouth and shushed as she giggled, gesturing the woman inside the house. Tossing her keys on the side table (which she missed), she staggered through the living room, undressing as she did so, heading for living room, not even turning around to check whether her guest was following her or not. She didn't need to look, they always followed her. JJ had that magnetic pull to her.

JJ had gone to work earlier that day only to be sent home again. She couldn't believe that Hotch had the audacity to send her home. So she was a little hung-over from the night before; she was just a single woman looking for a bit of fun. But she had felt all eyes on her as she had walked into the briefing room. She knew she looked a state; she knew she was pale; she also knew she had bloodshot eyes.

Today, JJ knew she had hit a new low. She had never turned up to work hung-over before and she had never been sent home for any reason. Not even when she had been ill, or she fit the victimology of a case. Hotch had raised his eyebrows at her as soon as she had walked in; well, staggered in, obviously surprised by what he was witnessing, a woman he usually had seen as strong. What stood in front of him was not the person Hotch thought he knew. Telling her that he finally had had enough of her behaviour, he had sent her home telling her he would be round to talk later, then sent her home in a cab.

She hadn't dared to look at Morgan, Reid and Rossi as she left. There was no doubt in her mind that they would be worried about her and maybe a tad disappointed. And she really didn't need that nor did she want it. She was dealing with things in her own way. Maybe not the right way, but it was her way of drowning out her demons.

Finally ridding herself of the last bit of clothing, JJ turned around to look at the woman she knew would only be a one night stand. She wasn't looking for a relationship, she just needed the release. It took her mind off of everything, even if it was only for a couple of hours. It was better than sitting in the house on her own, going through all her mistakes. Thinking about the things that she could have done differently. Yes; sex with a stranger was a much better option than that. A voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

JJ let out a groan. She looked the woman up and down. She was exactly her type; dark hair, nicely toned frame, a mysterious aura about her. It was always the type she went for, and she was never able to get away from that. If she let Hotch or Morgan know about that fact, they'd be able to profile the situation very quickly. After all, it was pretty obvious.

"Yes, I'm sure. Now come here."

The media liaison ordered softly, holding out a hand for the brunette. The stranger grabbed hold of it, and JJ pulled her towards her, against her body. Forcefully, she pushed the woman up against the wall, pressing her whole weight against her. JJ kissed the woman hard, grabbing her wrists and holding them up above her head. The stranger let her take control, letting the blonde do whatever she wanted.

Pressing hard against her, JJ brought her knee up to spread the other woman's legs, pressing hard against her core, eliciting a deep moan. Telling her to keep her arms in place, JJ ripped the brunette's shirt off of her, before lifting up her skirt so it was up around her waist. The media liaison stepped back, taking a minute to take in the other woman, and she groaned at what she saw. It was exactly what she needed.

A couple of years ago, she never would have done this. She had always thought a one night stand was dirty and didn't see the point in them. But it had all changed just over 14 months ago, and she couldn't get enough of them. Great sex without any commitment, what else could she want or need?

Stepping forward, JJ grabbed the other woman's arms, pulling her towards the couch. Lying down on it, the blonde pulled the brunette on top of her, revelling in the feeling of the weight on top of her. Her hands going in to the brunette's soft, long hair, JJ pulled her in to a hard, deep kiss. She could feel the other woman's hands exploring her body, her hands caressing her skin. Her tongue slipped past the strangers lips, moving against the brunette's own tongue.

"Mmmm...Emily..."

The brunette pulled back looking JJ in the eye, before hastily sitting up and getting off of her. The blonde watched as the woman grabbed her clothes that had been taken off. She turned back to JJ, a hint of sympathy in her eyes, but also a hint of sadness.

"The name's Sadie."

JJ let out a sigh, sitting up and running a hand through her hair. Sadie leaned down to kiss her before walking out of the house. She sat there for a couple of minutes just looking at the door, before she grabbed the blanket that was on the back of the couch, putting it around her naked body.

She lay back down on the couch, a cushion tucked under her head, as she looked up at the ceiling. She heard the padding of footsteps, before her Mom appeared above her, looking down at her daughter.

"Where have you been?"

She asked, her eyebrow raised in question. _Shit_, JJ thought, she'd forgotten that her Mom was in the house with Henry. She was supposed to have been home hours ago, but she didn't care, she had needed some time to herself.

"What's it to you Mom?"

"What's it to me?" Well, I've been looking after you son all day, and your boss, Hotchner is it, called round to talk to you, and I had to tell him that you weren't here. What the hell is going on Jennifer?"

Anger rose in JJ as she heard that name come from her Mom's lips. Only one person had ever called her that, and there was only one person she ever wanted to hear it from. She never liked it coming from anyone else.

"I don't think that's any of your damn business, Mom , and do _not_ call me Jennifer."

JJ snapped back albeit a bit slurred. She knew she would regret snapping at her in the morning but at this very moment she couldn't give a toss. If she couldn't have sex, she just wanted to get some sleep.

"For crying out loud, Jen. What the hell is the matter with you? Do you want to lose your job? Is that it?"

Alison couldn't believe her daughter. Jennifer coming home drunk had apparently been a regular occurrence for the past 14 months. One of her daughter's friends, Garcia, had called her requesting her help so she had moved in with her only daughter for a little while, to be there to look after Henry while she was at work. But now, all JJ seemed to be doing was taking advantage and staying out at all hours when she should have been home with her son.

"I think it may be a little too late for that."

JJ sneered back, wanting the subject to be dropped. She was definitely not a happy drunk. Alison ran a hand through her short, grey locks becoming more and more frustrated with her daughter. She could smell the alcohol from where she stood.

"You need to sort yourself out, Jen. Don't you think this has been going on for too long as it is?"

Jennifer was just about ready to snap and she knew if her Mom didn't go away that she would do just that.

"I don't need my Mom telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing. I'm 34 for God's sake, I didn't even want you here."

The blonde glanced over at a clock and saw it had just turned 1:30am. She really was thinking about going back out and picking someone else up. She needed to get off, the pressure was building up inside her.

"Well, obviously someone needs too. This can't carry on, you're destroying yourself." Alison took a minute to think about her next question, and then it became clear. "Is this about Emily?" JJ's head snapped up at hearing Emily's name.

"No this is not fucking about Emily." JJ snarled putting her head back on the end of the sofa.

"Jen, it's okay to miss her ya'know?"

"Who said anything about missing her?"

JJ could feel her temper rising with every passing minute. Her Mom left for a couple of minutes before returning with a glass of water, slamming it on the table next to the couch.

"Drink!" Alison demanded, becoming more and more disgusted with how her daughter was behaving. JJ had never acted or been like this, not even as a teenager. It was a total turnaround from her usual self.

"Don't start, Mom."

"I said drink!"

Jennifer had finally had enough of her Mom going on at her and she snapped.

"FUCK OFF!"

JJ regretted it as soon as the two words left her mouth. Taking a look up at her Mom she could see the tears in her eyes before Alison turned away and walked out of the front door, grabbing her coat in the process. The blonde held her head as the door slammed behind her. Okay, so she would definitely regret that in the morning, but she really couldn't give a flying fuck right this moment. Sitting up on the couch she reached for the glass of water, bringing it to her mouth but at the last minute she changed her mind and tossed the glass against the photos on the wall. Two photos and a glass smashed into tiny little pieces.

JJ knew her Mom was only guilty of caring for her; hell the same went for everyone else too, but she really didn't want it. She didn't need to be mollycoddled. Maybe she could go back out, hit one of the clubs and find someone to fuck. Release some of the tension that had built up because of Hotch and her Mom. It would certainly make her feel better, just no strings attached sex, nothing had ever sounded better to JJ.

The media liaison slowly stood up, but thought against it when the room started spinning. So maybe it wasn't a good idea for her to go back out, and then she remembered Henry, and the fact that her Mom had left. She stood up again and slowly made her way to Henry's bedroom trying to be as quiet as possible, but knocking over a plant on the way. From the other side of the door she couldn't hear anything, so she hoped he was still fast asleep. She thought about going in and giving him a kiss but decided against it and turned away.

Staggering back into the living room, her head started to bang and she swore she was hallucinating. She could picture Emily standing right in front of her. It was just her mind playing tricks on her, she knew the brunette wasn't there. This had happened a few times before and JJ could only get the image out of her if she took her anger out. Yeah this is just what she needed, a hallucinated Emily ready for her to shout at, and the good thing was the fake brunette wouldn't argue back. She always felt better after for it too, sometimes it was better than sex. But it every time it was always the same things she needed to say, to get that release.

"I fucking hate you Emily Prentiss…….. you know that?"

Jennifer snarled, the hallucination that had been conjured up in her mind not saying anything, just ready to take the barrage of anger.

"You left me, you left me here to cope with everything on my own….." JJ's words were very slurred as she tried to compose herself. "You promised that you would always be there….well you fucking broke that promise."

"You know what hurt the most? The fact that you didn't even bother fighting…….. Didn't bother fighting for me or Henry. You said you loved me……what a pile of shit that is. If you loved me even the tiniest, bit you would still be here."

JJ struggled to stop the tears that cascaded down her cheeks.

"I loved you with everything I had……and you just left. It's been 14 fucking months since you've been gone……and you know what? I'm coping, in my own way. See I don't need you."

The image of Emily was becoming more blurred as the tears fell.

"I blame you for all this fucking mess……It's your fault I'm drinking…….It's your fault I might lose my job…….It's your fault Henry hates me…….It's your fault I've slipped into dirty habits…….It's your fault I need to find random people to fuck because I need to be wanted……..IT'S ALL YOUR GOD DAMN FAULT."

JJ turned to her right and slammed her hand into the wall not even wincing as she felt the pain rise through her arm.

"The day you went…..you didn't tell me you loved me when you left early for work because we had a stupid argument……I didn't tell you I loved you. I have regretted that every day since but I've moved on……I'm getting on with my life……without you."

"So there you have it Emily Prentiss, I don't love you…..I FUCKING HATE YOU."

The blonde lent against the wall and slid down it, bringing up her knees to her chest, the tears falling from her blue eyes which quickly turned into sobs. She was emotionally and physically exhausted; she always was after letting it all out.

JJ lifted her head up when she heard small footsteps and a sleepy Henry came into view. The media liaison quickly tried to wipe away her tears. Henry was looking down at his Mom, a worried look across his face.

"Mommy, who were you shouting at?"

Henry lifted his head when he noticed another person in the room. "_Mom_!" He raced forward toward her, and Jennifer followed her son's interaction with her eyes. The hallucination had not gone away.

"What??"

X X X

**So, what do you think's going on?! What did you think of it? Good, bad, just plain awful? Let me know! Your reviews inspire me!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Criminal Minds, but I so wish I did...

Thank you for all your amazing reviews! They've completely astounded me! And because of that I have gotten this chapter up quicker!

Thank you **DarkBard0 **for her awesome betaing, her constant support and for being my inspiration.

Enjoy!

**X X X**

Emily braced herself for Henry, as she bent down, ready for the impact as he ran in to her arms. The brunette wrapped her arms around him, picking the young boy up, his legs wrapping around her waist. She didn't dare to look at JJ, so she held on tight, taking in the smell of Henry, who she had missed so badly. The brunette could feel his tears soaking through her white shirt, and she ran her fingers through his soft, blonde hair.

She could feel her own tears running down her cheeks, as the emotional moment started to get to her. Emily couldn't quite believe how she had managed to leave all of this behind...her wife and her son. But she had to for their own safety, it had been the only option that was available to her at that time, but she had questioned her decision every day since it happened. When she did question it, she made herself think back to when things had first started with JJ, and how she would do anything to keep the blonde and her son safe.

x x x

_The morning of 2__nd__ May 2008 had started off busy for Emily. She had woken up, seen to Henry, making sure he had his breakfast and was all ready for Garcia when she came to get him for the day. She had the day off and had offered to take him for the pair. The brunette had left her wife in bed, seeing as she had asked for the morning off to get some errands done. Hotch granted it immediately, as the blonde never ever booked any time off, so he didn't even question it. _

_After giving Henry a kiss on the cheek and sending him off for the day, she stood in the living room not really knowing what to do. Henry was their life and joy, and she always hated it when the house was so quiet. One thing she did know was that she needed to wake the blonde up, she had a meeting to go to, and she couldn't find the suit she wanted to wear._

_Walking softly in to the bedroom, she stopped at the door for a second looking down at her wife who had managed to sprawl over the bed. Emily always wondered how she managed to land such a gorgeous wife, why she'd want to be with someone like her. But Emily was never going to question it, she had JJ and their son, and she was determined to be with both of them for the rest of their lives. _

_As quietly as possible, she approached the bed, kneeling down by the side of it. Reaching out, she ran a hand down the side of JJ's face, pushing a strand of loose blonde hair behind her ear. Smiling as the blonde started to stir; she placed a soft kiss on to her wife's forehead, smiling against it. _

_JJ let out a soft yawn as she rolled over on to her back and Emily watched as her eyes fluttered open so she could see the bright blue depths. They always looked brightest in the morning, before they saw any of the darkness of the world, and if Emily could get away with it she would take a photo of her first thing, but she knew she had no chance._

"_Good morning beautiful."_

_The profiler whispered, caressing JJ's arm with her fingers. The blonde turned her head to meet the eyes of her wife, and a bright smile spread across her face. These were Emily's favourite moments, when JJ was so unguarded, so natural, before she put her press liaison face on._

"_Morning yourself."_

_The blonde sat up, leaning towards Emily, wrapping her hand around the back of her neck and pulling her forward in to a fierce kiss. She had never loved anyone as much as she did the brunette. Emily consumed her and she completed her, she couldn't imagine her life without her and she didn't want to. When they had first started their relationship, both of them know that it wasn't just a fling. There had been too much to lose for it to just be that, so they both knew it was going to last. _

_She knew she had struck gold because her son already knew Emily, and he loved her. And now, well sometimes she thought he loved the brunette more than he loved her! He was the spitting image of JJ, but everything about him was Emily. And the blonde absolutely loved that; she wouldn't change anything about him. At first she worried that he would pick up Will's accent, but since the Cajun didn't want anything to do with the both of them, she hadn't needed to worry about that._

_Pulling back, Emily leant her forehead against her wife's, cupping her face with her hand. _

"_It's time to get up if you want to make it to work for lunch."_

_The brunette whispered against JJ's lips, not wanting to move an inch. She just wanted to curl back up in bed with the blonde and show her just how much she loved her. _

"_I know, I'm up, I'm up!"_

_JJ said, sitting up abruptly so she didn't fall back to sleep again. She could have stayed in bed all day, given the chance. Laughing, Emily stood up walking in to the bathroom to put her make up on, ready for the day. She hadn't had a chance earlier, since Henry had been a little fire ball. So now she was going to be rushing to make it in to work in time, and she hated rushing._

"_Baby, where did you put my suit yesterday?"_

_Emily asked, looking through to the bedroom with her toothbrush in her mouth before going back in to the bathroom. JJ's eyes widened as she tried to remember what suit she was on about. Something was going off inside her head but she was struggling to remember what it was._

"_What suit Em?"_

_Again, the brunette's head popped out from the door, a frown spreading across her forehead. _

"_The one I asked you to pick up from the dry cleaners yesterday while you were on your lunch break."_

_JJ internally winced, as it clicked what she was supposed to do yesterday. Oh, she was going to be in so much trouble. She had promised Emily that she would pick it up, but she had been so distracted by work that she had completely forgotten. The brunette obviously saw the look on her face, as she came out the bathroom, her hands on her hips._

"_You forgot, didn't you?"_

_Emily asked, her foot tapping the floor. JJ noticed that it was something she always did when she was annoyed with the blonde._

"_I...um...I did, but I got so distracted at work that I completely forgot."_

_JJ explained, as Emily just stared down at her. _

"_And that's an excuse is it? God, JJ I asked you to do one damn thing! I really needed that suit; now what the hell am I going to do?"_

_The blonde watched as the profiler started pacing up and down their bedroom. She knew she was anxious about her meeting with Strauss but that was no reason to talk to her like she just did. Standing up, JJ quickly picked up some clothes off the floor and put them on. She didn't know why but the comment that Emily had just made had really pissed her off._

"_You know what? Do it your fucking self next time! I'm not your fucking slave!"_

_JJ seethed, walking out and slamming the door behind her. Sometimes Emily could really wind her up, but that was what sometimes kept their relationship so passionate. It helped keep their sex life intense. _

_She didn't hear Emily come out behind her, so her words must have sunk in. She felt a little guilty for snapping at her wife like that, but she thought it had been deserved. Seeing the mess in the kitchen that Emily and Henry had made after breakfast, JJ let out a sigh and buried herself in the washing up, not looking around when she heard the brunette come out of the bedroom._

_She could feel her wife's eyes on her, and then she felt her presence behind her. _

"_I'll see you at work."_

_Emily murmured, before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on JJ's cheek. The blonde didn't say anything back and didn't move till she heard the front door shut. _

_The rest of the morning JJ busied herself with chores and errands that she had to run. If she was honest with herself, she was looking forward to seeing her wife and making things right between them again. She hated it when they weren't speaking with each other. And as she walked in to work just after lunch time, she was intent on finding her wife. _

_She entered the bullpen, but frowned when she saw that her desk was empty. Files of paperwork were still stacked high so she could tell that Emily hadn't been to her desk that morning. JJ didn't think the meeting would have lasted all morning. The frown deepened when she noticed that Reid and Morgan's desks were also empty. Now she knew something weird was going on. If there had been a case she would have been called, but she was sure she hadn't been. _

_Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she saw that she did have a missed call. And then she remembered it had been ringing while she had been driving and she hadn't had a chance to pull over to answer it. Seeing she had a voice message from him, she dialled it and listened intently. _

"_JJ, can you come to hospital as soon as you get this please. It's Emily."_

_As soon as she heard that it was something to do with her wife, she was out the BAU as fast as her legs could carry her. She could feel her hands shaking and she was worried she wasn't going to get to the hospital. Even though she wasn't supposed to, she grabbed one of the FBI SUV's, put the siren and the flashing lights on and raced to the hospital. All the time hoping that the love of her life was okay._

_Hotch sighed as he left the voicemail on JJ's phone, not liking leaving that type of message on her phone, knowing she would be worried out of her head. Putting his phone back in his jacket pocket, he walked past Morgan and Reid who were waiting just outside, and walked straight in to the private room that Emily was in._

_Seeing her sitting up in the hospital bed with a sling on her arm, he let out a sigh of relief, but he frowned when he saw the expression on her face._

"_Prentiss, what's going on?"_

_She looked startled, as though the brunette hadn't heard her boss enter the room. Knitting her eyebrows, she swallowed to keep back the tears she knew would fall if she let them. But now was the time to be strong, not just for herself, but for JJ and her son too._

"_I need to die Hotch, this can't go on any longer. I went out to lunch and got shot! What if Henry and JJ had been with me? It's bad enough they've threatened me, but I will not have them threatening my family."_

"_Emily..."_

"_No! You've seen the notes, they're going to kill my son and then they'll go after JJ. I don't want them to go through that, so I want to be put in witness protection and then I'm gone. Those bastards can get on with their lives and JJ and Henry can get on with theirs, without the threat of being killed."_

'_They' were people that were going after Emily because they were being paid by a slum lord who had murdered a tenant right in front of her who was about to report him. He wanted her dead; he didn't want her testifying against him in court. And now he was doing everything in his power to make her disappear. He had sent her threatening letters, and he had sent them to JJ. But this was the final straw; she couldn't put her family in further risk. _

_Hotch just stared at his agent, knowing that he wasn't going to be able to talk her out of it. He knew that if it was Jack being threatened, then he would probably do the same thing. His respect for Emily soared knowing that she was putting their lives before her own. Though he couldn't help but think about how JJ was going cope, or how he was going to lie to the blonde agent and the rest of the team._

"_I can't say I like it, but I understand why you want to do it. I'll get the doctor in here, explain to him and then I'll call the relevant people and get you a new identity."_

_And he did just that. He called the doctor in, telling him that the woman in front of him needed to die and that it had to be believable. He seemed reluctant but he agreed and eventually he understood why she had to do it. Knowing that Reid and Morgan had to believe it too, the doctor set off the alarm and a couple of nurses came running in. It was explained to the pair of them too, and a few minutes later Emily Prentiss was pronounced 'dead.'_

_Telling himself that he had to appear that his agent had died, he walked out of the room coming face to face with Morgan and Reid. Turning his head, he saw that Garcia had turned up with Henry. What he was about to say made it that much harder by him being there. Swallowing hard, he turned to his agents, not knowing exactly how he was going to do this._

"_She's gone. Emily's dead."_

_Hotch said, watching as Morgan sat down, putting his head in his hands as his body shook. Reid stood there in shock, his mouth wide open as he took in the news. _

"_No!!"_

_Garcia wailed, and Morgan immediately stood up wrapping her in his arms as she sobbed in to his shoulders. Hotch could feel the guilt deep inside him, and as he turned to look at Henry who had been playing with some toys, it started to bubble. How were they going to tell him that one of his parents was dead? Someone that he adored and idolised even more than JJ?_

_JJ...._

_The Unit Chiefs head snapped up when he saw the blonde walking down the hallway towards them. The rest of the team turned to look at her too, and as she saw them all, the press liaison stopped in her tracks. Henry ran towards her, hugging her legs and JJ ran her fingers through his hair. Hotch could tell that she knew something was very wrong, so she left Henry to play with his toys again as she approached him._

"_Hotch, what's going on?"_

_JJ whispered, and behind her another wail came from Garcia. Hotch looked directly in to her eyes, not wanting to waver._

"_I'm so sorry JJ, but Emily was shot in the neck while she was out for lunch. She's gone."_

_She stood there looking at him, and then the tears came and she crumbled to the floor. The team were quick to get behind her, wrapping their arms around her and all Hotch could do was watch. Sobs racked her body, and all Hotch could hear from her was the mantra of 'no.'_

_Henry approached the group and Hotch picked him up, placing him on his hip._

"_What's wrong with Mommy?"_

_The blonde boy asked, his thumb going in to his mouth, which was a habit he always did when he was upset or nervous about something._

"_Your Mom has gone to live with the angel's now buddy, she's not coming back."_

_Henry quickly squirmed out of his arms and Hotch put him back down on the floor. He watched as the 2 year old boy ran to his Mum, and JJ pulled him in to her arms holding on as tight as she could to the little boy. The blonde's now dark eyes looked up at him, and Hotch almost wanted to tell her the truth there and then but he had to be strong._

"_Hotch, can I see her?"_

_The whole team's eyes turned on him and he shook his head._

"_I wouldn't recommend it JJ. Remember how she was, there's a lot of blood and she doesn't look like the Emily we knew and loved. Remember the Emily you loved."_

_JJ nodded, trusting her boss, before crying in to Henry's shoulder. All Hotch could do was stand there and watch, and hoped Emily knew what she was doing and if she was doing the right thing._

x x x

Emily put her little boy back down on the floor, and crouched down to his level.

"I think it's past your bed time, don't you?"

Henry nodded, and he smiled at her before running back in to his bedroom. Emily stood up, looking down at JJ who was just staring at her. Though she couldn't blame her, after all she was supposed to be dead. She didn't say anything and after a few minutes JJ stood up, facing her ex wife.

"You wouldn't do that to me."

JJ whispered, and Emily stepped forward but all JJ did was step back, tears streaming down her face.

"No, you wouldn't do that to me."

This time said a little louder, and the brunette didn't know what to say. How was she going to explain everything that had happened?

"YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT TO ME! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

JJ screamed this time, and she crumbled against the wall. Emily was quickly at her side, taking the blonde in to her arms. JJ tried to pull away but the brunette held on tight and eventually the media liaison broke down in her arms, not believing that she was feeling Emily's touch again. The brunette didn't say anything, just letting JJ do what she needed to.

Half an hour later she noticed that JJ's breathing had changed and as she looked down she noticed that the blonde had fallen asleep. Kissing her on the head, Emily gently picked up the very skinny blonde, and the brunette noticed she had lost a lot of weight. Almost too much.

With JJ in her arms, she carried her to her bedroom, putting her under the comforter. Emily sat on the side of the bed, just watching her sleep, and the brunette wandered how she was going to make things right. She knew it was going to take a long time to regain the blonde's trust again. Leaning down and kissing her on the forehead, she walked out of the room and in to Henry's. Smiling at seeing him again, she took her shoes off, and got in to bed behind him, wrapping her arms around the little boy. And as she drifted off to sleep, she hoped she could make things better again.

**X X X**

So what will happen next? Will JJ ever be able to forgive her? Who knows! Oh, thats right, me! Let me know what you think, good, bad or just plain ugly?


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Criminal Minds, never have, never will.

**On the other hand if I did, I would not get rid of JJ and neither would I reduce Emily's episodes. It's just insane. So show your support by signing the petition. We have to keep this pairing alive, and the only way we can do this is by people writing, and the way to get people to write is to review. So let everyone know what you think of their stories! Show the love!**

X X X

The harsh, early morning sunlight filtered through the gap in the curtains, hitting Jennifer Jareau directly in the face. Slowly opening her eyes, JJ blinked against the light before slamming them shut again. Rolling on to her other side, the blonde opened her eyes again but this time kept them open. She brought her hand to her head, trying to make the pounding that was resonating there to go away. She had never felt anything like it; it felt like there was a drill inside of her head, slowly digging in to her brain. Why did drinking always seem like a good idea at the time?

Frowning slightly, she struggled to remember back to the night before. What exactly had she done? She remembered making an idiot of herself at work, and then going to a bar after. She even remembered hooking up with a woman but for the life of her everything after that was a blur. And she guessed by the empty space next to her in the bed, that the woman in question had not come back to her place. So what on earth had happened? Usually she would never turn down the chance of having sex, so something must have thrown her right off.

Kicking the bed sheets off of her, JJ cringed when she saw that she was still in the same clothes from the day before. God, she must have been bad. As she slowly sat up, aware of her head, something suddenly hit her. JJ remembered there was something about Emily that she was supposed to remember, something that had happened. But then again when she was at her most down like she had been last night, it tended to lead to her dreaming about her late wife. That's what she put it down to, that and the alcohol.

Slipping out of bed, she padded across her bedroom to the chest of drawers which still had Emily's clothes in it. Everything of the brunette's had been left the way it was when she died. JJ couldn't bring herself to get rid of any of it, it would mean that she was finally accepting that Emily wasn't coming back, and she just wasn't ready to do that. Everyone had told her that it would help her move on, but she didn't want to move on. And until the team and her family experienced something like she had, she wasn't willing to listen.

Stripping off, she slipped in to the on-suite bathroom to take a quick shower. She let the water cascade over her, washing away the dirt and everything that came with it from the night before. Just for a second she was able to clear her head, to forget everything that had happened. But that was all it was, a second. And then it all came crashing down around her again. This is what happened every single day, it was just a vicious circle that repeated itself over and over again until JJ couldn't take anymore and she needed to escape. Escape from reality. And she had found it, through alcohol and sex. The blonde didn't like it, she didn't like the fact that she needed those things, but it was her own way of dealing with things.

Stepping out of the shower, she walked back in to her bedroom, slipping on some comfy clothes that she was able to lounge about in during the day. Running a towel through her hair, she felt fresher and ready to take on the day.

Padding out to the kitchen, she reached up to a cabinet, grabbing some painkillers, before picking up a glass and filling it with water. Throwing her head back, she felt the tablets slip down her throat and with the water still in her hand she headed for her son's room. Glancing at the clock as she passed it, she saw that it was almost 11 and he was usually awake by now.

Before Emily had died, every morning that they had been home from a case, Henry would come in to their room and bounced on them until they had gotten out of bed. But since then, he would just stay in his bedroom amusing himself until JJ came and got him. The blonde wasn't entirely sure why it had changed, well she did, she just didn't want to admit it out loud. She had neglected him, hadn't been there as much as she should have been, and now he didn't even feel like he could come in her room anymore.

Silently cursing herself, she paused at his door when she couldn't hear anything from the other side. Usually she could hear cartoons playing on the little TV that he had because he played it so loud, but all she was met with was silence, and it worried her.

Quietly opening the door, she peeked in but she couldn't believe what she was seeing. This had to be a dream, right? What she was seeing in front of her couldn't possibly be real. In the shock, JJ had dropped her glass of water on to the floor, the glass shattering into tiny pieces. And with the noise it had made, it had managed to wake up both of them. As JJ stood there in shock, Emily slowly started to sit up, not wanting to loosen her grip on Henry, in fear of him running away from her.

The little boy also started to sit up, rubbing his eyes with his arm as he woke up; trying to see what had woke him. Furrowing his eyebrows, he looked up at his Mom who was just staring at something behind him. And then suddenly it hit him, and he couldn't contain his excitement.

"Mommy, Mommy, look whose back! Mom's back! You were wrong, she did come back!"

Henry jumped off his bed, running towards his blonde Mom, wrapping his arms around her legs. His smile that was spread across his face was contagious, and Emily couldn't help it when a small smile appeared on her own face. JJ on the other hand, was still stood there in shock, and didn't even acknowledge Henry when his arms wrapped around her. Getting no response from her, he ran back to his bed, jumping up and straight in to Emily's arms. He couldn't help but laugh when the brunette wrapped her own arms around him, kissing him all over his face.

The little boys laughing pulled JJ out of the trance she had been in, and that's when she felt the anger inside her start to rise. The hurt and devastation she had felt when she thought Emily had died also rose with it, and she felt herself with conflicted feelings. On one hand she wanted to go over to the other woman and hold on to her and never let go because she was alive right in front of her. On the other hand she wanted to cry and scream at the brunette for leaving them. But the thing that overrode both of those was confusion.

"What...? I mean how...where...why?"

JJ stuttered out, not entirely sure what she wanted to say. She wanted to pinch herself to see whether she was still dreaming or not. Or maybe she had dreamt Emily had died.

Emily on the other hand slowly extradited herself from Henry's grasp, leaving him sitting on the bed as she stood up and slowly walked towards JJ. She stopped though when she saw that every time she did, the blonde would step further back.

"I know you're confused right now, and you must have a lot of questions and I promise I will explain everything to you. We have a lot to talk about."

The press liaison suddenly felt the anger rise up again inside of her.

"Talk? You want to talk? No, I don't want to talk. You didn't want to talk before and I don't want to talk now."

The brunette recoiled when she heard the force of anger laced in JJ's tone. She deserved that, she knew she did but she hadn't made herself prepared for it. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but when she had heard from Hotch about how JJ had been, she had just left everything behind. She hadn't let anyone know, she had just left her new life behind for her old life. Emily had missed JJ so much, and seeing her right now in front of her, took her breath away. How could she of given all of this up? But she had to, for their own safety, which was her number one priority.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry; we'll talk when you're ready. It's just I've missed you so much and-"

"Don't."

JJ interrupted, not wanting to hear any more from Emily. She didn't want to hear how much she had missed her, and if she was honest she felt the same but she didn't want to give Emily the pleasure of hearing that. She didn't want to hear any of the brunette's explanations, not just yet. She wasn't ready for that. First of she had to get her head around the fact that Emily was still alive.

"I want you to go Emily."

"What? Why?"

"Because I'm not ready to deal with this right now. So just go, please."

The blonde could hear her voice cracking, and she really wanted Emily to go before she broke down. But when she felt the door behind her open, she let a tear roll down her cheek as her Mom entered the room. She watched as she spotted Emily, and if it was in any other circumstance she would have laughed at the face that her Mom made, but now wasn't that time.

"Hi Alison."

Emily whispered. Alison and the brunette had always had a special relationship, and JJ had always been pleased about that. How many people got on with their in-laws? The blonde watched as her Mom wiped the tears away before she stepped forward and wrapped Emily in her arms. The press liaison couldn't watch as her ex-wife started crying in to her Mom's shoulder and JJ turned away. Looking at Henry, she beckoned him over, and she picked him up and placed him on her hip. He was getting a little big to be carried but right then, she needed the comfort he brought.

Pulling back, Alison wiped Emily's tears off her cheeks before turning to her daughter. This time, JJ couldn't help but cry at the scene that had just transpired in front of her. Her Mom was just as quick at wrapping her daughter in her arms. Henry was in the middle of them, not entirely sure what was going on, and the expression on his face, almost wanted to make Emily cry again.

"I think you should go, Em. Come back later."

Alison whispered, and Emily nodded, thankful for the opportunity to come back later. Grabbing her stuff, she smiled at her ex mother in law, before placing a kiss on the temple of her son. He tried to reach out for her, but she just smiled at him and JJ didn't even turn to look at her as she kept herself buried in her Mom's shoulder. And as she walked out of the door, the sound of JJ sobbing was the last thing she heard.

x x x

Emily wasn't entirely sure where she was supposed to go. Theoretically, she was still supposed to be in witness protection, and standing on the sidewalk outside of the house she used to live in wasn't the best idea she had ever had. Looking up and down the quiet street, she took note that there was nobody about before she jumped in to her car.

Pulling out of the drive, she decided to drive around, to explore the city that she had been away from for about 14 months. She passed all the joints that she used to go to, all the restaurants she used to take JJ, and as she passed them she felt a sense of nausea rise up inside her. She couldn't believe how much she had missed the place.

For the past year she had been living as 'Regina,' a married woman who lived in Boston. For the past year she had the job as a trainee solicitor, and she hated it. She had to pretend she was enjoying it just to keep the job and earn some money. She hated to pretend to be with a man she hardly knew anything about. He worked for the witness protection programme and he was assigned as her handler. She had been known as Regina Murray, wife and solicitor. But all she had wanted to be was Emily Prentiss, wife, mother, friend and profiler.

She didn't know how long she had been driving for before she pulled into Morgan's place. Emily didn't even know how she had ended up there.

Stepping out of her car, she slowly walked to the door, not sure of the reaction she was going to get this time. She was kind of hoping it would go better than it had done with JJ. Morgan was her best friend, the guy that she was able to go to when things were going wrong or she needed someone to talk to. He had helped her gain the confidence to ask JJ out when they had first started dating. He had been the one to help build her confidence up when she had questioned whether she was good enough for JJ. And now 6 years later, he was the one to thank for everything good that had happened in her life. Emily wished that she had been able to tell Morgan when she had gone in to witness protection, but there hadn't been enough time, and every day she had regretted that. Almost as much as she regretted going in to it in the first place.

Knocking gently, it was only a few seconds before she heard noise on the other side of the door. As the door opened, she held her breath. He just stood there for a few minutes staring at her with wide eyes, not quite believing what he was seeing. Morgan blinked, just to check that he was in fact seeing Emily standing there right in front of him.

"Prentiss?"

He asked, and all Emily had to do was nod before she was engulfed in to a hug.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm so sorry."

She whispered in his ear, and he hugged her tighter. She didn't even know how she was going to start explaining everything that had happened. As he pulled back, he brought his hands up to her cheeks, just looking in to her eyes for a few minutes. They stood there like that, before Emily leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Come in girl, come in."

Morgan beckoned, and the brunette followed him in to the house, walking in to the living room and taking a seat on the couch. The profiler took a seat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to him. They sat there in silence, before Morgan placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"So you going to tell me what's been going on?"

Emily took a deep breath, taking in the comfort of him being next to her.

"Okay, where do I start?"

"Start from the beginning."

"Okay. About a year and a half ago, I witnessed a murder and I was called to stand trial. Anyway, he employed some people, and they started to threaten me. They would write letters, and they would threaten to hurt JJ and Henry. I didn't know what to do, but then I was shot. That changed everything for me; I knew what I had to do. I was placed in to witness protection, and I let JJ and Henry continue on with their own lives without the threat hanging over them-."

Before Emily could continue, a knock interrupted them and the brunette turned to face Morgan who suddenly had an apologetic look on his face.

"I kind of had plans with Baby girl..."

Morgan broke off, and Emily couldn't help but cringe. Garcia was JJ's best friend; therefore she wasn't entirely sure of the reaction she was going to get, whether it was going to be good or bad.

"Do you mind if I get the door?"

The brunette asked, and Morgan smiled at her before shaking his head. Standing up, she walked over to the door, bracing herself before she answered it. Opening the door she was met with a few seconds of silence before a scream almost burst her eardrums. Suddenly she found herself struggling to breathe as one perky technical analyst engulfed her in a very tight hug.

"Hey Garcia."

Emily said. Still holding the brunette in her arms, Garcia pulled back looking the former profiler in the eye before hitting her on the arm. Emily let out a chuckle which almost sounded like a sob as the tears fell once more. All Garcia she could see was despair at the hurt that had been caused in Emily's eyes, and Garcia couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Whatever she had gone through, the quirky blonde knew it had been for JJ and their son. Garcia grabbed Emily's hand, pulling her over to the couch before placing her between herself and Morgan.

"Before we start talking about me, I need to ask you guys something."

Emily explained, looking between her two friends. Both of them had one of her hands, and she squeezed them both softly. At their nods, the brunette continued.

"What happened to the woman I loved? Where has the sparkle gone?"

Garcia had to take a huge gulp to stop the tears that she knew were about to fall. Not only at having the woman back in their lives, but also the impact it was going to have on JJ.

"That's easy Em, she lost you."

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	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **Not mine, never will be.

**Thank you so much for all the reviews! My muse loved them so came up with this! Enjoy!**

X X X

Emily sat in her rental car, staring at the place that she used to call home. She had so many good memories of the place, From when she had proposed to JJ to the time when Henry was brought home from the hospital. But now? Now it was clouded with regret and unhappiness; something that she had caused from her decision. At the time she thought she had made the right one, but hearing what she had from Morgan and Garcia, she began to question it.

The brunette had learnt that her wife, if she could still call her that, had been going off the rails ever since she had left. She kind of knew it had been like that when she had walked in to the house the night before, but what she didn't know was how bad it had gotten. And it was all because of her.

Emily didn't know what she was going to get when she walked in to the house, and she could feel the butterflies in the pit of her stomach. The former profiler wanted her life back, her old life, but she had no idea how that was going to be possible. If she was in JJ's shoes, she didn't know if she could ever forgive her.

Finding the courage from somewhere, Emily stepped out of the car, walking slowly to the house. Hesitating slightly when she got to the door, she took a minute to look around the street. It hadn't changed a lot since she had left; it was exactly how she remembered it. The street she had been placed in under witness protection wasn't that much different, but the brunette still couldn't call it home.

Breaking out of her thoughts, Emily brought her hand up and knocked gently on the door. She had used the key she had the night before, but this time she didn't feel she had the right. As the door slowly opened, Emily held her breath as she waited to look in to blue eyes, but instead was met with the eyes of her son and her mother-in-law.

"Hi Mommy!"

Henry squealed as he ran to her and wrapped his arms around her legs. Emily ran her fingers through his hair, choking up at the thought that she might have never done this again. She didn't care if she was still in danger; there was no way she was missing this any longer.

"Hey baby."

Emily whispered as he pulled back, smiling up at her. The brunette smiled back at him, before picking him up and placing him on her hip. She kissed his cheek as Henry wrapped his arms around his Mom's neck.

"Hello Emily."

Alison greeted her, and Emily nodded as Henry started placing kisses all over her face.

"Hi Alison. Can I come in?"

The brunette asked through the laughter. Alison moved to the side of the door, indicating for Emily to come in. Making her way in to the family room, the former profiler took a seat on the couch, placing Henry on her lap as Alison took a seat next to her.

"I'm not sure whether to be happy you're alive, or angry at you for hurting my daughter."

Alison stated, and Emily did a silent gulp before placing Henry on the floor telling him to play with his toys while the adults talked. As soon as the brunette saw that her son was preoccupied, she turned back to her mother-in-law.

"I can understand that, and I'm sure I would be the same, but I had my reasons. And I hope after I've explained them to JJ, that maybe I could tell you, and you could maybe find a way to accept my decision."

"I'm not sure I'm the one you need to be worried about accepting your decision."

The brunette took in that statement, and she knew it was true. It was JJ that she had to explain everything to first. She knew it was going to be hard, but it was worth it for the outcome. She just wanted her wife to have some closure, to understand why she did it. Emily just wanted the blonde to be happy again, and if she had some help in that, then that would make her happy, and they'd be able to move on with their lives, whether it was together or apart.

"I know, and I can't tell you how sorry I am. Not just to Jennifer, or Henry, but to you too."

Emily said sincerely, before looking at her son. Alison followed her gaze, and let a small smile spread across her face.

"You really missed him, huh?"

"You have no idea."

The former profiler replied without any hesitation before turning her attention back to her mother in law. Sitting here now, she couldn't quite believe how much she had actually missed this, how much she had missed her old life. Because her new life? It didn't even begin to compare to what was here in front of her. Everything, but the one person she wanted to talk to more than anything.

"Where is Jennifer?"

"Um, she's in the bedroom. After you left, she started to drink before she fell asleep. I woke her up and put her in there. God Emily, she is such a mess. She promised Henry that she would spend some time with him today, but instead she resorted to alcohol. I know these are extreme circumstances, but a promise is a promise. I know Jen loves him, but lately she's had a funny way of showing it."

Emily didn't even know what to say to that information. JJ had resorted straight to the alcohol? While their son had been in the house? Garcia and Morgan had mentioned how much alcohol JJ had been drinking, but she didn't know that it had gotten this bad.

"Anyway, I think I'm going to take Henry to the park and give you two a chance to talk. I can imagine there's a lot to discuss."

Alison said, and Emily nodded her head in thanks.

"That would be great, thank you."

The brunette stated sincerely. Alison patted her on the hand before standing up.

"I'll just go and wake her up and tell her you're here."

"Okay."

As her mother in law walked to the bedroom, Emily turned to her son who was smiling up at her again. Beckoning him over, Henry sprinted over and jumped back on her lap. As he wrapped his arms around her, Emily put her nose in his hair, taking in the smell that she had missed so much.

"I told Mom that you would be back, but she didn't believe me."

Henry said quietly. So quiet in fact, that Emily almost struggled to hear him. She turned him to face her, wrapping his legs around her waist, and she put her hands on his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry I left."

Emily whispered, wrapping her arms around him tightly. They stayed like that until Alison walked back in to the room, ready to go out.

"Come and put your shoes on Henry."

The three-year-old boy gave his Mom a kiss on the cheek before clambering off and running towards his Grandma. A few minutes later he was ready, and as Alison guided him to the door, she turned back to Emily.

"Jen will be out in a few minutes, she was just getting herself together."

"Thanks."

Emily replied, returning Henry's wave as they walked out the front door. The brunette could feel her nervousness growing, and her foot started tapping involuntarily. She brought her hands together, finding comfort in it somehow. As Alison said, a few minutes later Emily heard a door close before her wife appeared in front of her. She stood up to give JJ a hug, but the blonde recoiled. Instead she took a seat opposite her, and Emily went back to where she had been sat before. She could feel the distance between them, and she wasn't sure what to say, so she was thankful when JJ spoke up first.

"Hey..."

The blonde whispered, and for a minute Emily thought she looked just like a child. She looked so young sitting in front of her, and now she could clearly see the effects the last 14 months had had on JJ. She looked worn out, there was no glow to her and her usual sparkle had gone. Emily could feel the guilt rising inside of her, but she pushed it aside, wanting to say what she needed too.

"Hi, I hope its okay, but your Mom let me in."

JJ nodded, and instead of staying where she was she decided to move next to the brunette on the couch. Emily took that as a good sign and let out a small sigh of relief.

"Where is she?"

The media liaison asked, not meeting Emily's gaze. If she did, she would give in and kiss her right there and then. But she couldn't, she had to be strong. She wouldn't let the brunette walk back in to their lives like everything was okay. It wasn't, and JJ wasn't sure whether it would ever be okay between them again.

"She took Henry to the park. Wanted to give us some time to talk."

"Ah, okay."

The blonde replied, before an awkward silence transpired between them. Communication had never been a problem between them before, and the longer the silence was, the more uncomfortable JJ felt. She struggled to find something to say, so was pleased when Emily broke it.

"I'm not sure where I should start."

"I'm not even sure I want you to start."

JJ threw back, and she saw the wince on Emily's face. She didn't really know whether she wanted to hear any of it, because her head was all over the place. Her ex-wife was sat in front of her, and she still hadn't gotten over that. How the hell was she supposed to process anything else? She was happy that Emily was alive, she really was, but that didn't come close to the hurt she was feeling.

"Jennifer..."

JJ shook her head.

"You don't get to call me that anymore."

She stated, and she could see the hurt it caused Emily. JJ could almost feel herself starting to feel a little guilty when a tear ran down her former wife's cheek, but she wasn't going to take it back. Emily had been the only one she allowed to call her Jennifer, because from her it had meant something. It was their thing. But now she couldn't stand to hear it from her mouth, she didn't deserve to call her that anymore.

"Okay, I'm sorry."

Emily apologised, and JJ could feel herself starting to give in, but she couldn't. She couldn't deal with anything, she didn't know how.

"Maybe this isn't a good idea."

"Why not?"

The brunette asked confused, and JJ had to take a few seconds to process what she wanted to say. There were things that she needed to say, and she just wanted to get it right. She was a media liaison for god sake, and now she was having problems finding the words. Kind of ironic, in her eyes.

"Because I have all these conflicted emotions. I don't trust myself around you, because even though you left, my feelings never did."

"Well, can't we start from there?"

JJ knew as soon as she said it that Emily might find hope from the statement, but she didn't mean it that way. And the last thing she wanted to do was get Emily's hopes up, and make her think they had a chance of getting back together.

"No, you can't just come back from wherever you've been and expect me to be jumping for joy. At the moment, I hate you and I don't know if I could ever forgive or trust you again."

"You hate me?"

"Yeah, I do. Because for whatever reasons you did it for, you betrayed me. Not only me, but our son too."

And it was the truth, she had made the ultimate betrayal for whatever reasons and that was very had to forgive.

"I know. Do you know how hard it was to leave? It was the last thing I wanted to do."

"Then why do it?"

"Because I had no choice, that's why."

JJ recoiled at the bluntness of Emily's tone. It was angry, but it wasn't aimed at her. Emily was aiming it at herself, and as the brunette let out a big sigh, JJ felt herself start to soften. But then she remembered Henry, and how he had been when his Mommy had left. The little boy didn't understand what had happened, and even thought it had been because of him. But Henry had been pleased to see her, and JJ couldn't blame him for it but she couldn't be the same. She wouldn't.

"You always have a choice."

The blonde stated, and it was true. Emily wasn't forced to leave; she had made a choice, the wrong choice.

"No, you don't. If you had the same choice, I'm pretty sure you would have done exactly the same thing."

"If you think that, then you really don't know me very well."

"We both know that's not true."

JJ took in that statement, sighing as she realised that Emily was the person who knew her better than anyone else. Before they had even started dating, they had been best friends, which had been good. They already knew each other well, which meant they were able to skip past the dating part and straight in to a relationship. They both knew what they wanted; they weren't going to risk their jobs and their friendship for a fling. The couple knew they could have a future together, and now six years later here they were. Both of them sitting, staring at the floor not knowing what to say. But JJ thought she owed it to their relationship to hear what Emily had to say.

"Okay, I'll listen to what you have to say. Start by telling me where you've been for the last year and a half."

A small smile spread across Emily's face at the chance to talk, and JJ almost smiled back before she stopped herself.

"I've been in witness protection."

JJ looked up at Emily, a startled expression on her face. That was the last thing she had been expecting to hear.

"What?"

The blonde asked, wanting Emily to repeat herself to make sure she had heard her right. She knew what witness protection was, hell the BAU had put people there for their own safety. But she never thought that's where Emily had been. She thought that maybe her wife had run off with another woman.

"For the past 14 months, I've been living as Regina Murray in witness protection."

"I don't understand."

"I know, it took a while for me to get my head around it."

JJ put her hand up, gesturing to give her a few minutes. All sorts of questions were running through her head, and she wasn't sure where to start. But she started with the first one that popped in to her head.

"Why were you put in witness protection?"

She asked, waiting for Emily's answer.

"To cut a long story short, I witnessed a murder and I was called to testify against the suspect. He started sending me threatening letters, telling me that he would have you and Henry and killed. Remember that letter you got? The one that said 'I'm watching you?'"

JJ nodded. The blonde remembered it well, it had confused her to no end, and when she had shown it to Emily, she had shrugged it off as an obsessed fan that had seen JJ on TV. The media liaison had agreed, so therefore had forgotten all about it.

"Well that was from him."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I didn't want to worry you, I wanted you and Henry to live your lives as normal without worrying about me."

The blonde could believe that, as Emily was the most selfless person she had ever met. She was always willing to do things for other people, even if it meant putting her own safety first. But JJ still couldn't shake the anger at the fact that Emily hadn't said anything to her. They were a partnership, they were supposed to work through things together, or so she thought.

"I would have been there for you, if you'd talked to me."

"I know, I'm sorry. Anyway, the day I left, I got shot in the shoulder, and all I could think about was what if it had been you? Or Henry? And if it had been, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. So I spoke to Hotch about witness protection."

"Hang on a second, you spoke to Hotch?"

That statement threw JJ. Hotch had known about Emily? The blonde couldn't believe it; she thought that she and Hotch were close. Her son had even stayed around his house when JJ needed some time alone. He had done so much for her; he had been her support unit, and now this?

"Um, yeah...he contacted the programme."

"You told Hotch, and you didn't tell your _wife_?"

JJ could feel herself getting angrier by the minute. Why did Emily feel she could tell Hotch and not her? Was their relationship really that bad that her wife couldn't tell her about it? That she couldn't trust her with it?

"I couldn't tell you! I couldn't stand to see you in danger, so I did what I had to do. I needed to know you were safe, so I faked my own death so those men would back off."

Emily shouted, and JJ could feel her defences going up. Standing up, she met the gaze of Emily who had stood just a couple of minutes before. Now on a level playing field, JJ decided to let rip, to let her anger show.

"If you'd talked to me about it, we could have found a way! We could have even come with you! You don't just leave your family behind when you're supposed to love them!"

JJ saw Emily recoil at the statement. The blonde would have followed her wife anywhere, she loved her that much, and she thought that she loved them. Obviously the media liaison's love was much stronger than Emily's. And that was probably the one thing that hurt more than anything. The only thing that hurt more than finding all this out was when she was told that Emily had died.

"I didn't want to uproot you and Henry. You have a life here."

"I _had_ a life, until you left me!"

"I know, and I'm so sorry."

The blonde was seething, but she calmed when she heard Emily whisper her apology. Seeing the look on her face, she just wanted to wrap her up and never let go.

"I can't believe Hotch knew. He was the one that told me you were dead. He lied to me! And he's known where you've been this entire time and never told me!"

JJ thought back to that moment, when Hotch had told her that Emily had died. Thinking back, he had said it so calmly and with no emotion, but she thought that was just Hotch being strong for her and the team. But now she knew it was because he knew that Emily was alive. He wasn't going to cry because someone was alive, was he? How had she not picked that up? She was almost a profiler, for god's sake. But saying that none of the others knew, or so she thought anyway, but she didn't know what to believe anymore.

"I told him not too, I wanted you to move on, to move on without me for your sake and for Henry."

"You think I could move on? I lost the love of my life and I was supposed to move on?"

There was no way that JJ was able to move on. Emily was her soul mate, she was her life, and without her she didn't feel like she could carry on, but she had to for Henry. So she had dealt with things her own way.

"I wanted you to be happy!"

"I was happy! With you and Henry! How was I supposed to be happy without you? You were my life; I would have done anything for you. I would have come with you!"

"I didn't want you too!"

That statement shocked her, and she sat back on the couch to absorb it. She could feel the tears streaming down her cheeks, and as she looked up to Emily, she found the brunette was crying too, before she wiped away her tears.

"What?"

JJ whispered. Emily didn't want her to go with her? Did she really not want to be her that much that she had to leave?

"Well I did, but I wanted you to carry on as normal too."

"Normal? What the hell is normal nowadays?"

The blonde hated normal, normal was boring. Every day with Emily had been exciting, and she knew if she had been normal and settled down with a husband, 2.4 children and a dog, she wouldn't have been happy. She would have been bored, doing the same mundane thing every day of her life. With Emily that was never the case, and if she had to choose Emily over 'normal', she would every time without a doubt.

"I'm sorry."

Emily whispered, joining JJ back down on the couch. Another question popped up in the blonde's mind.

"Why did you come back?"

The media liaison asked, and Emily turned to her. The anger was gone from JJ's voice, and for that the brunette was relieved. She hated it when JJ was angry, but she knew she deserved it. After all, she had disappeared without a word for 14 months. She didn't expect a party or anything when she had come back.

"Hotch called me, told me you had gone off the rails."

"Hotch called you?"

"Yeah, he was worried about you."

As soon as Hotch had called her, Emily had heard the worry running through his voice. So she had stopped what she had been doing in the office she had been working in, and just listened as he told her what JJ had been up to. Her former boss didn't like to show emotion, so hearing him so worried; she knew she had no other choice.

"I can't believe this. How often has he been talking to you?"

JJ was angry again, and Emily almost wished she hadn't brought up Hotch knowing where she had been.

"About once a fortnight. He would phone my handler then they would put him through. He kept me updated on how you and Henry were doing."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because I asked him too. I never stopped worrying about you, and when he told me that you'd be drinking-"

"Don't. You don't get to criticize me for how I handled it. I thought you had _died_!"

JJ stood again, and she started pacing. Emily followed her with her eyes. She wasn't sure how she would have been if it had been the other way round, and she didn't really want to think about it. But she couldn't blame JJ for being so angry.

"I know, and I can't tell you how many times I just wanted to call you and tell you that I was alive, and that I still loved you, but I wasn't allowed. I'm not even supposed to be here now, but I needed to see you. You and Henry. I'm here to stay this time; I'm not going to run away again."

Emily said with conviction and she meant every word. She was done running. She wasn't going to let those bastards win again.

"I don't know how I'm going to even start processing this. And then there's Henry. How do I even start explaining things to him?"

"Would it help if I did it?"

"Maybe. I don't know...I don't even know where to start, or what I'm supposed to do..."

"That's okay, I know it's a lot to take in. But I just want you to know I've never stopped loving you. I thought about you every single day."

Emily could see JJ was starting to soften as she stopped pacing and stood in front of her. But as soon as she did her expression hardened again.

"I can't do this, I can't listen to this. None of it matters, because you betrayed me."

The brunette didn't know what to say; she just wanted to make things okay again, no matter how long it took. She wanted her life back, and now looking at JJ, she knew it was going to be a hard journey but JJ was worth it.

"Jennifer..."

"I told you not to call me that! You don't have the right anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"I need to go, I need some air."

"Okay, okay. Do you mind if I stay here until Henry gets back? It's just I really want to spend some time with him."

She had missed the little boy so much, and all she wanted to do was spend as much time with him as she could. Emily had missed the last 14 months of his life, she wasn't going to miss anymore.

"Do whatever you want. I don't care anymore."

They both knew that wasn't true, Emily could see it in JJ's face. There was still love and affection there, but anger was overruling all of that and Emily couldn't blame her for it. As JJ pulled on a coat, the brunette wondered how she could have ever left this beautiful woman in front of her, because at that moment, she had never been so in love with JJ. Absence really did make the heart grow fonder.

"Okay, thank you."

"Don't thank me; just don't let him down again. He's already lost you once, don't let it happen again."

JJ said, pointing a finger in Emily's direction. The brunette shook her head hard; dismissing the idea that she would ever let him down again.

"I won't, and I won't let you down again either."

"We'll see."

JJ muttered, before walking out of the door, leaving Emily standing there in their former family home. And as that thought hit home, that she maybe wouldn't ever be able to call it her home again, Emily let the tears fall.

X X X

**I know there's a lot of angst, but you need the angst to get to the good stuff, right? I hope you're all in for a bumpy ride! Let me know what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **Do not own, and never will :(

**So first off I need to apologise for taking so loooooooooong to update! I got a promotion at work and it's been absolutely hectic, I think my girlfriend has forgotten what I've looked like! Anyway, I had a day off today so I motivated myself to write.**

**Hope you enjoy the chapter :)**

**x x x**

JJ walked in to the BAU bullpen, rage seething inside her. She couldn't believe that Hotch had known all along about Emily being alive. How could he have kept something that important from her? How had he lied to her for the last 14 months while she had been breaking down? Storming through, she didn't even notice Reid and Morgan sitting at their desks doing paperwork.

"Morning JJ."

The lanky profiler said, but the media liaison just walked straight past. Stomping up the stairs, she stopped for a second just in front of her boss's door, taking a minute to think about what she was about to say. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and slammed it right behind her. Not giving him a chance to say anything, she started to let rip.

"You lying bastard!"

JJ seethed, and at hearing that, Hotch stood up behind his desk before walking around to the front of it, ready to face the raging agent.

"You've been lying to me this entire time; how the hell could you do this to me?"

Without even thinking about it, the blonde raised her hand, slapping her unit chief across the cheek. Putting a hand to his face, Hotch turned to his agent and he could see the fire in her eyes. He was shocked to say the least; he had never had an agent raise their hands to him. But he knew that for JJ to have a go, it was going to be something big. Removing his hand, he sat down on the edge of his desk, ready to face the angry media liaison.

"What's going on JJ?"

"You mean the fact that Emily is alive and you didn't tell me Hotch!"

After the unit chief had called the brunette yesterday after JJ had been sent home, he knew that Emily was worried but he didn't realise that she was going to blow her cover because of it. Well he assumed she had, as JJ now knew she was alive. As he watched the blonde pacing, a frown crossed his forehead.

"She's come back?"

JJ turned to face him. If looks could kill, he had no doubt that he would be dead by now.

"Yeah, last night. I came home and a little while later she appeared in the living room. I wasn't entirely sober, but then this morning I saw her lying in Henry's bed!"

"I had no idea that she was going to come back."

And he didn't, he really didn't think that Emily was going to come out of the programme. She was putting herself in danger because of what he had told her. Hotch could feel the guilt rising up inside him, what if he had put her life in jeopardy? Not only hers but what if he had put JJ's and Henry's life in danger too, because he couldn't stop himself from telling Emily what had been going on? He wasn't even supposed to be allowed contact with the brunette, but the programme had allowed it, and for that he was thankful because at least he was able to tell Emily that her wife and son were safe and that she didn't have to worry.

"What did you expect her to do when you told her everything that I've been doing? How could you betray me like that? You're just as bad as she is! You've been looking after me, coming round to make sure I was okay, having Jack and Henry spend time together round your house! Why did you do it?"

JJ screamed, the pacing starting again as she ran a hand through her hair. In a way he knew why he had done it, he had felt guilty for being the person that was lying to her, so he had tried to make it as easy as possible for her. It had been hard not to tell her when he saw how upset JJ was, but he pushed through for Emily's sake.

"She asked me to, she was doing it to keep you safe! If I was in the same position I would do everything in my power to keep my family safe."

"Why? You didn't bother when Haley was alive."

JJ sneered, stopping once more. That was like a sucker punch to the gut. For a minute the two of them just looked at each other, Hotch not really knowing what to say to the blonde agent. And it wasn't as if it wasn't true, he wasn't able to keep Haley safe, and that was going to haunt him for the rest of his life. It haunted him every time he looked at his son, and every time he closed his eyes. That's why he respected Emily's decision. She was doing everything in her power to keep the pair of them safe.

"Okay, that's enough JJ. You might be mad at me, but I'm still your boss. You can't talk to me like that."

Hotch put back on his game face, not wanting to show JJ how much that comment had hurt him. Because it did hurt him, and it was the most painful thing that he had ever heard come out of the media liaison's mouth.

"Like I give a shit right now! You betrayed me! EMILY IS ALIVE!"

"Don't you think I know that? Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep it from you? How hard it was when you started to spiral out of control? I only told her now after I thought it had gone too far. She's putting herself in jeopardy just by being back. Did you think about that?"

JJ hadn't even considered that. She hadn't considered the implications of Emily coming back home. Could she really still be in that much danger? Were these guys still after her? There was no denying that Emily still loved her, and if JJ was honest with herself, she still loved Emily too. And for that reason she never wanted to see the other woman hurt.

"No, but that doesn't change anything, you still betrayed me Hotch. How could you do it?"

"Because she honestly thought she was doing the right thing for her family. If she'd of asked you to go with her, would you have?"

"Yeah, of course I would."

The blonde had been thinking about the very same question since Emily had asked it just under an hour before. And it was the honest answer, because she would have followed her wife to the end of the world and back if it meant she could still have been with her.

"Would you really? It would have meant getting a new job, new name, a new school for Henry, new friends, would you have given up everything?"

There was no denying the upheaval it would have caused to their life, and JJ knew that Emily would have thought long and hard about it. She wasn't an impulsive person; she needed time to make any sort of decision. And that reason must have been a huge reason why she made the decision she did.

"Yes, because at least I still would have had Emily!"

When the brunette had 'died', JJ felt like her heart had been ripped out of her. She had thought about ending her life on more than one occasion, and the only thing that had stopped her from doing so had been Henry.

"She's back now, you can still have her."

JJ shook her head solemnly. She couldn't see any way back for them to be together again. The trust that had once been there had been completely destroyed. How could you be in a relationship with someone if you didn't trust them? The feelings were there, they always would be, but sometimes that wasn't enough.

"No I can't, too much has happened; I can't just forgive her like that. I wouldn't be able to trust her again. It's the same for you, how am I supposed to trust you again? Not just as a friend but as a boss too? You kept the biggest secret from me about the most important person in my life bar Henry. How am I supposed to keep working with you, trusting you in the field? Because right now, I don't see any way that I can."

"I can understand that, I can, and I don't expect you to trust me again right away. That's something I will have to try and build back up."

"I'm not sure if I want you to try."

The blonde whispered, and Hotch had to lean forward to hear her properly.

"What?"

"I'm not sure if I want to keep working here."

She had been thinking about it for the last couple of months. She couldn't keep working there while the rest of her life spiralled out of her control. For JJ to be good at her job she needed to get her personal life back in order again and that was going to take time. She was thinking about quitting even before Emily turned up, but now, it made the decision even easier.

"JJ, you're emotional. It's not a good idea to make a decision like this right now in your state."

"I'm not making a rash decision. You're right, I have been spiralling out of control since Emily left, and I don't trust myself in the field. Right now I think I just need to spend time with Henry, and focus on him for a while."

They both knew it was the right thing for her to do. Between working and then the social activities she'd been taking part in weekly, she'd barely been spending any time with Henry, and now she felt extremely guilty. She needed to prove to herself that she was a good Mom, because she knew she was, she had just let her son down since Emily had gone. In that sense, her Mom had been a lifesaver.

"Okay, that's understandable. But JJ, I don't think you should quit completely, because honestly? I think you'd come to regret it. So I'm not going to accept your resignation, but for now I will put you on two months paid leave."

He accepted the decision she had made, and he was telling the truth when he said he did understand it. But there was no way he was going to lose one of his best agents without even trying other alternatives. If after two months she was still wanting to leave, then he would accept it though he wouldn't be happy about it.

"Hotch-"

"JJ, please? I don't want to argue about this, and I think it's the least I could do after everything, don't you? I might have lost you as a friend after this, but I certainly don't want to lose you as an agent too."

"Okay, thank you."

"Can you let Emily know her job is still open when it's safe for her to do so?"

Knowing that she was alive, Hotch hadn't opened up the brunette's job hoping that one day she was going to come back. Filling that void that she had left would have been near impossible for anyone to do, and he knew that none of the team would have appreciated a newcomer coming in so soon after Emily had gone.

"No. You can tell her yourself."

"Okay, I will."

JJ nodded, and walked to the door. As she was stepping out, Hotch's voice stopped her in her tracks.

"And JJ? Take some time to think about why Emily made the decision she did, because she honestly did do it for yours and Henry's safety."

The blonde couldn't stop the tears as they caught in her throat. Looking out the door so Hotch couldn't see her crying, she took a deep breath.

"I don't question that; I just wish she had done it in a way that didn't break both mine and our son's hearts."

"I think you'll find hers was broken too."

x x x

Emily sat on the couch in the place she used to call home waiting for Henry to come back with JJ's Mom. Looking around, she frowned as she noticed all the photo's that used to be in place on the wall's had been taken down. A photo of the two of them on their wedding day had gone, and so had a picture of the three of them at the park. A tear trickled down her cheek, because the hurt she had caused was evident around the house. Bringing her purse out of her pocket she pulled out a small photo of the three of them on one of Henry's birthdays, and ran her thumb over it. She wished she could go back to how it had been before, but deep down Emily knew that there was no chance of that happening.

Hearing the door open, she looked up and smiled when she saw Henry bounding towards her. Opening her arms, she steadied herself as the little boy jumped in to her arms. Wrapping her arms around him, Emily looked over his head to give Alison a faint smile and she was rewarded with one in return.

"Guess what Mom? Grams took me to the park!"

Henry squealed, pulling back to look at Emily. A wide smile spread across her face as she leaned forward and placed a small kiss on his forehead.

"Yeah? And did you have fun buddy?"

Nodding his head vigorously, Henry jumped off his Mom's lap and ran in to his bedroom. Emily watched him the whole way until the little boy disappeared out of sight and she turned back to her mother in law.

"The whole time we were there, the only thing he talked about was you and how much he's missed you."

Alison stated, walking to the couch and taking a seat next to Emily. She wasn't surprised when she walked in with her grandson and found the brunette waiting for them. The older woman would have been a little disappointed if she hadn't been there.

"It goes both ways, I've missed him so much."

Emily replied, almost in a whisper. Looking down at her hands, she swallowed as she tried to keep all the emotions that were inside her kept at bay.

"I haven't seen him this happy since you left."

The older woman said, and she watched as Emily's head shot up to look at her. Alison could see all the emotions that Emily was feeling just by looking in her eyes.

"How do you mean?"

The brunette asked, and Alison now regretted saying it. What she was going to say was no doubt going to hurt her daughter in law. And as much as she loved her daughter and wanted to be mad at Emily for hurting her, she still adored the mother of her grandson.

"While you've been gone, Henry hasn't been himself, and today for the first time in months, I've seen him smile and have a good time. JJ hasn't been herself lately, don't get me wrong she's been a fantastic mother given the circumstances, but kids pick up on these things. He's been asking me what's wrong with Mommy, and whether it was because of him. JJ has told him hundreds of times that she loves him, but he still knows she's been sad. And as much as she wanted to be, she hasn't been able to spend all the time she wants with him, because she's trying to juggle work and being a full time Mom at the same time. It's been hard work for her."

Emily just sat and listened to what Alison was saying, but she couldn't help the tear that ran down her cheek when she heard how sad Henry had been.

"You said before that she's been drinking?"

The brunette asked softly, wanting to know the facts but not wanting her mother in law to go on the defensive. Before she answered Alison reached across and stroked the tear away off of Emily's face. Pulling her hand back, she looked intently in to the brunette's eyes.

"She has been yeah, most nights it's just one or a couple at the most because she has work the next day or something. But sometimes she just takes it too far, and I've lost count on the number of times she's come home intoxicated, and not always alone."

At this Emily winced, and Alison reached across and squeezed her hand gently.

"I'm not saying this to try and hurt you, but you need to know what's been going on. All she's had since you've been gone is one night stands, there's been nothing significant. I don't know why she's been doing it, I just think that she missed the connection that she had with you, and she wanted to try and find it again even if it was just for one night. I just don't think it's worked."

"How many has there been?"

The older woman looked Emily straight in the eye, wondering if she should tell her the true amount. Knowing it was going to hurt the brunette, Alison took a deep breath.

"For the first couple of months there wasn't any, and she just spent all her time with Henry. Then there was maybe one a month or something like that, until now and it's become more like one a week. I've always been careful though that Henry doesn't see any of these women coming in to the house."

Seeing the tears drip down Emily's cheeks, Alison scooted closer to her, taking both her hands in her own.

"I don't know why you left, and for now I don't want to know, I'm just glad you're back. But you need to know this, JJ is a broken woman and I think you're the only one who can fix her. It's going to take a lot of time and patience because I've only seen her this bad once before and that was when her sister died, but I think you can do it."

The tears were not falling freely from the brunette's eyes, and Emily pulled her hands away and put her head in them. She couldn't believe the hurt that JJ had been through, she had broken the woman she loved. Emily didn't know whether she was ever going to be able to forgive herself, let alone JJ forgiving her.

As she sobbed, she felt Alison get up from the couch and walk away. Her body shook, and she struggled to get her breathing under control. The sobbing only stopped when she heard the opening of the front door for a second time. Taking a deep breath, she looked up to see JJ looking at her, and Emily could tell straight away that she had been drinking. Her eyes were bloodshot and her hair was a mess. This wasn't the woman she had left behind, this was another person. Standing up she came face to face with her wife.

"What are you doing here?"

JJ slurred, and Emily reached out a hand as she saw the blonde sway side to side. But the media liaison quickly backed away from the touch and Emily brought her hand back to her side.

"I stayed to see Henry, he's in his room playing, and I've just been talking to your Mom for a little bit. How much have you had to drink?"

The brunette asked and JJ let out a loud sigh before leaning back against the front door. She looked Emily up and down and noted how good she still looked. A little skinnier than what she remembered, but she had dark jeans on with a red top and they enunciated the curves that she did have. Damn it, now she was horny. Why hadn't she picked up anyone from the bar?

"Not enough."

JJ sneered, walking past Emily and in to the kitchen, straight to the fridge that held a bottle of wine. Grabbing a glass, she started pouring the wine before the bottle was snatched away from her hand. Looking up, she saw that Emily had taken it.

"What the hell are you doing?"

The brunette could see the anger etched on her wife's face, but she didn't care. The drinking had to stop, for Henry's sake.

"I think you've had enough, don't you?"

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

JJ shouted, and Emily almost recoiled from the tone in the blonde's voice but she stood her ground. Somebody had to tell her, and if she was the person to do that then so be it.

"I'M YOUR WIFE, DAMNIT!"

The brunette shouted back, and JJ stood there in shock. Who the hell was she to call herself her wife? How the hell could she call her her wife after she had left them?

"No, you're not. You stopped being my wife the day you decided to die. You have no right to take the wine away from me."

The media liaison said as calmly as she could, not wanting to get in to an argument with Emily. If she did, it would show that she cared, and even though she did, she didn't want the brunette to know that. She might think there was a chance of them getting back together.

"Yes I do, Henry needs his Mommy to be sober!"

"How the hell can you claim to know what Henry wants? Yesterday was the first time you've seen him in months!"

Emily ran her hand through her hair; this really wasn't how she wanted this to go down. But JJ seemed to be looking for a fight, and if she wanted one, she was going to get one.

"Because I've heard about everything you've been doing! Did you even know how unhappy he's been? Or were you too busy screwing a different woman every week?"

JJ recoiled, taking a step back. Emily was breathing heavily from how angry she felt. She wasn't going to bring any of this up, but she couldn't stop herself. The blonde took a moment to compose herself before replying.

"You do not get to judge me. You're the one that left, remember?"

"Don't you think I know that! I've regretted it every day since. I thought about you every single day, wondering how you were doing, and if Henry was okay. And now I come back, and find out you've been fucking every woman on the planet! How was it for you? Were they good fucks? Did it make you forget about me? Tell me, how long did you leave it after I died before you went out looking for sex exactly? You're just a WHORE!"

"NO! NOTHING EVER MADE ME FORGET ABOUT YOU!"

And with that, JJ rushed forward, pushing Emily back against the fridge as she crashed her lips against hers. They fought for dominance, their tongues battling against one another. Everything was in the kiss, the hurt they both felt, the feeling of loss and the love they still held for one another. JJ reached for Emily's hands, holding them above the brunette's head. The blonde thrust her hips in to her wife, as the passion overcame them.

As oxygen became an issue, JJ pulled back to look at Emily. The brunette's lips were swollen, and as clarity overcame her, the blonde released her wife's arms. Stepping back, there was nothing for silence except the heavy breathing coming from both of them.

"Get out."

JJ whispered, so quietly that Emily struggled to hear it. She went to approach her, but the blonde stepped back.

"Jennifer..."

"I said get out, please."

Emily nodded, walking out to the lounge as she grabbed her coat from the chair. JJ stood where the brunette had left her in the kitchen. Emily glanced back at the kitchen as the tears flowed again, before walking out of the place she once called home. Inside, JJ let the emotion overcome her as she slid down the fridge on to the floor, her body racked with sobs.

**x x x**

**Review! Review! Review! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Criminal Minds, never have, never will sadly :(

So I can't even bring myself to apologise, because it's been sooooooo long, but here it is...finally! YAY!

Enjoy!

**x x x**

After their kiss in the kitchen, Emily sat in her car outside her former home just watching as the last light went off in the bedroom upstairs. It had been an almost an hour since she had walked out of there, and the brunette couldn't bring herself to drive off. All she could think about was what life had been like before she had thrown it all away.

The weekend mornings where they would lay in bed, just enjoying each other until Henry decided it was time to wake them up. The daily routine of getting Henry ready before the babysitter came around, while trying to get ready themselves. The lazy afternoons spent as a family on the couch, just watching a film, or one of Henry's favourite programmes on the TV, as they snuggled up together.

Yes, it was the little things that Emily missed the most, and it was because of these that she asked herself every day, why she had done what she did. The answer was simple, it was to keep her family safe, and if there had been any other way to go around it, she would have. But there was no choice; her family always came first even while she was away. And it was because of this, she was back.

As soon as Hotch had told her about JJ, she had dropped everything. But nothing had changed since she had been back, and she didn't know where to begin with making everything right again, but what she did know, was that it was down to her to earn the trust of JJ again. But after their kiss, she wondered whether she was on the right path or not.

Running her thumb along her bottom lip, a small smile spread across her face. And with one last glance at the house for the night, she turned the key and put her foot on the gas before pulling off. What she didn't see was the car following slowly behind.

It was only a mile in to her journey; back to Morgan's that she noticed that something could be wrong. The car behind her, she had noticed had been following her ever since she had left JJ's house. And not only that, but the lights were on dim, when it was pitch black. Testing it out, she took the next right, and as she guessed the car also took the right.

Starting to get worried, she pulled her phone out of her coat pocket and quickly pressed speed dial 3. After two rings, Morgan's voice came over the line.

"It's Morgan."

"Morgan it's Emily. I haven't got time for you to talk, I just need you to listen. I have a guy following me in a red SUV, and he's been doing it ever since I left JJ's-"

"Prentiss, slow down."

"He's also got his lights dimmed, and now I'm not sure what to do. I can't come back to yours because then he'll know where I'm staying if it is who I think it is-"

Her conversation was cut off by a sudden smash in to the driver's side. The shock sent Emily swerving and she struggled to stay in control of the car. Gripping on to the wheel with both hands, her cell landed at her feet as another shunt sent her veering to the left. Turning her head to the right, all she saw was blacked out windows, no sight of the person hidden behind them.

Trying to think of what she should do, she slammed on her brakes, hoping somehow that she could get away, but she had no such luck, as the SUV slammed its brakes on too before reversing back straight in to her. The shunt sent Emily's head snapping back, and as she rubbed her neck with her hand, she didn't notice the second car heading straight in to the side of her car.

Before she knew it her car was rolling down the embankment, and after a few rolls the car finally came to a stop at the bottom on its roof. All she could hear was silence except Morgan's voice carrying through her cell before it all went black.

**x x x**

"PRENTISS!"

Morgan shouted down the phone, as he paced up and down in his living room. All he heard was the unmistakeable sound of metal crunching. Fearing the worst he slammed down his phone and grabbed his coat before walking out of his door. Not wanting to waste a second he jumped in to his car and veered off with his blue lights flashing.

Inside he was hoping that she had taken the usual route from JJ's to his own house, figuring that he might be able to find her on the way there. On the outside, he looked like a hard man who was bursting with anger. His knuckles were turning white as he clenched on to the steering wheel. He was looking from side to side, looking for any sign of his best friend. Inside though was completely different; to say he was a mess was an understatement. The profiler could feel the fear rising in his stomach, and he couldn't help but fear the worst. He had to prepare himself for what he might see, especially with the job they had.

Emily couldn't be dead, not after everything she had been through over the last couple of years. He'd be damned if she left her family now, but this time for good. Morgan would do everything in his power to make sure that Emily returned to her family. The brunette and JJ belonged together, everyone could see it. The blonde just had to see it again, and he was determined to make her see it.

Morgan knew he should be a little angry with Emily for just leaving and not telling anyone, except Hotch who he had found out about only this morning. Somewhere deep inside, he wished it was him that had known, but he wasn't sure whether he would have been able to keep it from JJ. After all, even though Emily was his best friend, the blonde was more like a little sister, so he was kind of glad he hadn't known.

His frustration growing as he neared JJ's place, he slammed his fist in to the steering wheel in anger. All he kept thinking was that Emily could be dead right now, and that hit him hard. Harder than anything ever had. He wasn't the kind of guy who cried, but right then, he found himself nearly on the verge of tears.

But something then caught his attention, as he saw something in the distance to his right. Slamming on his breaks he did a U-turn in the middle of the road, beeping for people to get out of the way. Pulling on the handbrake, he got out of his car faster than he ever had, slamming the door behind him. As he ran down the embankment towards the wrecked car, he felt another shot of fear go through him. The car was on its roof, and smoke was beginning to come from the bonnet.

Immediately going in to FBI mode, he ran to the driver's side and smashed through the window with his elbow. Morgan found himself grimacing, as he saw the blood trickling down the side of Emily's face.

"Emily!"

The profiler shouted, trying to wake her up. At the very least she was going to have concussion when she came to. Reaching through, and being careful of the glass, he reached across and undid her seat belt. Morgan put his hands under Emily's arms and pulled her out through the window. When he'd pulled her out, he lifted her out and carried her further up the bank. Settling the brunette down on his lap, he pulled out his phone and dialled 911 for an ambulance. After being told it would be there in a few minutes, he cradled Emily's face in his hands.

"Emily, girl, please wake up! You have so much to live for and to fight for. We need you to get your family back, and the only way to do that is to wake up!"

As if on cue, the brunette's eyes fluttered open and Morgan couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. Emily looked around in confusion before fixing on Morgan's face. Before she was about to speak, Morgan placed his finger on Emily's lips, stopping her from talking.

"Sshhh Prentiss don't talk. You've had an accident but an ambulance is on its way."

Emily nodded softly, and they just lay there in the grass until the ambulance finally turned up. As they loaded the brunette on to the gurney and in to the ambulance, Morgan held her hand the entire time. He wasn't sure what had happened, but by the look of the car, Emily was lucky to be alive. And as the doors were shut, Morgan saw the blue lights of the police turned up. No doubt that they would stop by the hospital later to get a statement from Emily.

A thought hit him suddenly as they rode to the hospital, that even though they weren't together JJ should know what had happened. Knowing the best person to break it to her, he immediately was on the phone to one Penelope Garcia.

"What do you mean Emily has been in an accident?"

The quirky blonde shouted so loud down the phone, that Morgan had to pull the phone away from his ear. He could feel Emily's eyes boring in to him, and he squeezed her hand in return.

"By the looks of it, Emily's car has been ran off the road. We're on the way to the hospital now. By the looks of it, she hasn't got any major injuries, just some scratches and bruises, and most likely concussion. I need you to let JJ know."

There was silence on the other end of the line, something that Morgan had never heard with Garcia before. He looked to Emily, who was scowling and shaking her head at him. Okay, maybe it hadn't been the brightest idea, but he thought that JJ deserved to know.

"Okay, I'll go round. Anything for you my hunk of chocolate."

Morgan couldn't help the low chuckle that escaped his lips. His best friend was currently lying on a gurney on the way to the hospital, but Garcia could always brighten the mood in any situation.

"Thank you baby girl, I'll see you at the hospital."

**x x x**

Garcia hesitated just as she was about to knock on JJ's door. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to approach this. How the hell do you tell your best friend that her ex-wife is in hospital and that she needs to be there? Taking a deep breath, she knocked hard on the door. Garcia knew that JJ would most likely already be in bed, but it didn't matter, in her eyes this was an emergency.

"JJ, open up!"

A couple of minutes, and a few knocks later, the blonde finally opened the door. Garcia's eyes widened as she saw the sight of JJ in front of her. Her gorgeous blonde hair was sticking out all over the place, her makeup was smudged all around her eyes and she was in a way too big t-shirt with pj bottoms.

"Get dressed, we need to go to the hospital."

Garcia exclaimed, as she walked past JJ in to her home. She stopped in the middle of the family room before turning round to face the blonde, who had a bewildered look on her face. Garcia thought that honesty was the best policy.

"What are you doing just standing there? Get dressed, we need to get to the hospital."

"Garcia, what are you talking about?"

JJ asked, a confused look on her face. She wasn't sure what was going on, but Garcia was starting to scare her a little bit. Plus, she had one of the worst headaches she had ever had. This wasn't turning out to be a good night, and it didn't look like it was about to end well either. She watched as her crazy friend let out a loud sigh.

"I'm not sure how to tell you this, and I'm sorry it's me, but Emily had an accident about an hour ago. Morgan think she's been run off the road on the way home, and now she's in an ambulance on the way to the hospital."

The quirky blonde explained, not even taking a breath as it spilled out of her. What she didn't expect was to see JJ cross her arms with an angry look on her face. What she had expected was for JJ to go running in to the bedroom to get changed so they could rush to the hospital.

"I'm not going, I don't want to see her."

Garcia went to talk, but JJ stopped her by raising her hand. If Garcia was honest with herself, she didn't really like this JJ.

"She broke me Garcia, she physically broke me. She pretended to be dead for fucks sake! She said she loved me, that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me, we made vows! But it meant nothing to her, absolutely nothing! So no, I am not going to go to the hospital to see her."

The technical analyst stood there as all this anger spewed out of her best friends mouth. She knew JJ was angry, but she didn't realise how angry she really was. But had JJ even thought about Emily's feelings in all this?

"You're being fucking selfish JJ."

JJ's eyes widened. She had never heard Garcia swear before in her life, and to say she was shocked was an understatement. She had never seen her best friend so angry with her, and to be honest, it scared JJ a little. The blonde sat down, to what she was expected to be a riot from Garcia.

"Did you ever think about Emily in all of this JJ? Did you think about how hard it would have been for Emily to come back, to face you and the people that were after her in the first place? They ran her off the road JJ, for fucks sake! She's back for you, to try and get you back on track."

"There's nothing wrong with me-"

"Oh, look in the mirror JJ, you look a fucking mess. You haven't been right since she left. It's about time somebody told you the truth, and it looks like it has to be me."

Garcia took in a deep breath as she looked in to her best friends eyes. She really didn't want to do this, but she needed to. JJ was living in a world that was self destructive and it had to stop. If not for herself, then it needed to be done for Henry. Emily had risked everything to come back for JJ, and it was time in Garcia's eyes, for that to be recognised.

"You've been non-stop drinking, bringing back whores to your house where your son is sleeping. My God JJ, did you ever think what the effect could be on Henry? She's your wife, and you were off sleeping with random women, what after only a few months? No offence JJ, but that's disgusting. Why did you do it? What good did you think it would do?"

The reply was instantaneous and it caught Garcia off guard as tears dripped down her best friend's cheeks.

"I missed her so fucking much, okay? She was all I could think about every minute of every day. I missed her touch, the way she smelt, how soft her lips were and how her skin felt under my fingertips. But it wasn't just the physical I missed, it was everything. I just missed her okay, and I just needed that connection with someone even if it was only for a few hours. I love her, and I just- I just missed her like crazy, and now she's back, and I don't know to handle it. I just don't know how."

JJ sobbed, and Garcia was immediately at her side, wrapping an arm around her friend. It hurt, but it was something that JJ obviously needed to get out, and she wasn't sure if the blonde had meant it, but Garcia clearly heard that her best friend still loved Emily. There was still hope.

"JJ, honey, I know you're hurting, and believe me I didn't want to put this on you, but you really need to come to hospital. I think it'll be good for both of you."

The blonde nodded softly, and Garcia watched as JJ walked in to bedroom a mess, but came back out looking fresh and Garcia wasn't sure but she could have sworn she could feel a change in JJ already. Clasping JJ's hand she pulled her out of the house and in to the car. She knew Henry was looked after by JJ's mom, so she had no hesitation in taking the blonde. Before she drove off though, a soft whisper interrupted her thoughts.

"I love her so much, but I can't help hating her."

**x x x**

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	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Not mine never will be...**

**Thank you for all your amazing feedback, this is for you :) I just want to say thanks to the gorgeous Darkbard0 for betaing this for me.**

**Enjoy!**

**x x x**

Jennifer Jareau walked slowly behind her best friend in to the hospital. This wasn't where she was expecting her night to end up. When she had woken up she had expected to find that it was morning with her Mom bustling around in the kitchen, not to the banging on the door from one Penelope Garcia. A couple of years ago this would have been one of her worst nightmares come true, but now it was reality, Emily was hurt and JJ didn't know how to react. Inside she was devastated, the woman she still loved was badly hurt, but there was another side that hated Emily, and the blonde didn't know which feeling was the strongest.

As they got closer to the room that Emily was suddenly situated, JJ felt the butterflies in her stomach go. She started to walk even slower behind her best friend, not sure whether she wanted to go in. Garcia noticed JJ come to a complete stop and turned round to face her before slowly tugging her hand. A faint smile appeared on the media liaison's face, before she gave a slight nod to Hotch and Rossi who were stood a couple of metres from the doorway of her room.

JJ's breath caught in her chest as she noticed Morgan. His shirt sleeve was ripped from where he had smashed the car window, and JJ could see the blood stains on it. His jeans were covered in mud, as was his face. And the blonde could have sworn that he could see tears in the darker man's eyes. At this point Garcia rushed forward and enveloped him in a crushing hug.

After a few minutes JJ tore her eyes away from the scene with a slight lump in her throat, before standing in the doorway of her wife's room. She took a deep breath as her eyes raked over Emily's form. Her face was battered and bruised and her arm was done up in a cast. Her eyes were closed and for a second JJ could pretend that the last 14 months hadn't happened. She just wanted to go in there and kiss her just to make sure she was still there, but she couldn't do that, not now, not after everything, no matter how much she wanted to. She wouldn't let her heart rule her head.

Slowly she approached the bed, and the hustle from outside the room seemed to get further and further away. JJ took the seat next to Emily's hospital bed, and gingerly took the non-broken hand in her own, her thumb caressing the back of the brunette's. For a few minutes she just sat and watched her ex-wife. How things could have been so different.

She still loved Emily, her feelings hadn't changed. The woman she loved was still in there, but how she wishes she didn't. All of this would have been so much easier if she had moved on. But maybe that was just something impossible for her to even think about.

How could she possibly move on when she was in love, with the most amazing woman she had ever met? Since Emily's 'death' no-one had even come close and probably never would, especially now. That wasn't to say she was going to take Emily back, but it was going to be hard when the mother of her son was back.

Leaning forward she rested her forehead on the back of Emily's hand as she let the tears fall. Not just because of the hurt and betrayal of Emily, but her boss too, and of the loss she had suffered all those months ago. She might have been back, but that wasn't to say she still didn't feel the loss. She hadn't just lost Emily, but also her family too.

Sniffling and wiping the tears away with the back of her hand, JJ looked up to see brown eyes looking straight at her. Startled, an awkward silence fell over the room before Emily shattered it.

"Hey you."

The brunette whispered before lifting her hand from JJ's and caressing the side of the blonde's face. JJ let herself lean in to the touch, letting herself go back to happier times. A smile spread across Emily's face, as she saw it as a good sign. Smiling back, JJ grabbed hold of the hand again, bringing it back down on to the bed between them but not letting go.

"Hey."

JJ whispered, then letting the silence fall between them again as they just stared at each other for a few minutes, neither of them knowing what to say to each other.

"Why did you come here?"

Emily asked suddenly, a bit surprised of having JJ there. She honestly hadn't expected to see the blonde, but it was a good surprise and Emily certainly wasn't going to complain about it. Seeing JJ made everything seem that little bit better.

The media liaison looked directly in to Emily's eyes, taking a minute to compose herself, trying to find the right thing to say. She didn't want to get Emily's hopes up, but at the same time she wanted to be honest with herself and with the brunette.

"Honestly? I really didn't have a choice because of Garcia, but I wanted to see how you were too."

JJ squeezed Emily's hand, before smiling softly at her. It was true, she did want to see for herself how the brunette was doing, to see her with her own eyes. JJ had immediately feared the worst when Garcia had come to her house, but now she let out a little sigh of relief that it didn't look like she had any major injuries. Thank God.

"I'm glad you came."

Emily whispered sincerely, before squeezing JJ's hand back. It was nice to have the blonde, just holding her hand, and Emily almost let herself go back to how it was before. Almost.

"Me too."

Another silence fell between the pair. It had never been like this before Emily had left, the conversation always flowed easily, and it had almost always had a flirtation tone beneath it. But now, it was awkward and disjointed and both of them hated it. Emily just wanted it back to how it was before.

"So, what have the doctors said?"

JJ asked, wanting to keep the conversation away from anything that could get them emotional. Maybe when she got home she would cry over Emily getting hurt, but now she needed to stay strong for both of them.

"They said I had a lucky escape. No internal bleeding, just cuts and bruises and a broken arm. Will be in here overnight, and might be let home tomorrow. Morgan said that from the look of car, I was lucky to get out alive."

And she was. Morgan had told her the car was a mangled mess, and that she was lucky not to have been crushed from the weight of the car on top of her. No doubt the car was a right off, and she thanked her lucky stars that she was still here.

"Well I'm glad you did."

Emily nodded, before looking down at both of their hands on the bed. They had always fitted so perfectly together, not just physically but emotionally too. This was just another reminder that she had thrown what they had away.

"Where's Henry?"

She asked tentatively, her thoughts going to her son. She was desperate to see him, but she wanted to remain cautious if JJ wanted to limit the visits between them. But JJ wasn't that type of person. The blonde wouldn't keep the older woman away from her son, she wasn't cold enough to do anything like that, but Emily was still worried.

"He was asleep when Garcia came, so I left him with my mom. I'll bring him by in the morning."

The brunette let out a sigh of relief, which JJ didn't miss. The blonde could see the love for their son in Emily's eyes every time his name came up. She wasn't about to do anything to jeopardize that.

"Okay, thank you. I just want to make up for the time that I wasn't there. I don't want him to think I wanted to leave."

He might have been two when she had left, but no age was too young to remember being abandoned. Emily knew this, especially when her own father had left when she turned 6. She had never forgotten, and she didn't want Henry to go through the same thing. Emily wanted the young boy to know that if they were together, or even apart, he had two very loving parents who would be there for him no matter what.

"He knows that, and I haven't seen him this happy, well, since you left actually."

"Do you know that?"

"Know what?"

"That I didn't want to leave."

JJ took in a deep breath, thinking over the answer. If Emily didn't want to leave then why did she? The blonde had already told her that they would have gone with her, if only she had spoken to them about it, been honest.

Maybe she didn't say anything because she didn't want them there. That was a shuddering thought to JJ, and one she pushed right to the back of her mind. She knew that thought was absurd. Ever since they had got together, JJ could feel the love for her and their son, just by looking in to the brunette's eyes, and she could see it now. If it hadn't been absolutely necessary, Emily wouldn't have gone, she knew this realistically.

"I guess I do know that, deep down inside, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to hurt you for not talking to me about it."

JJ felt like finding a random woman to sleep with, and then telling Emily about it, so just for a second, the brunette would feel the hurt that JJ had felt every day since she had gone. But the blonde wasn't that kind of person, she was bigger and more mature than that. Maybe now was the time to deal with her feelings. Months ago, Hotch had suggested seeing a counsellor, well now; maybe it was the right time. Maybe Emily would go too.

"I know I hurt you Jennifer and I'm so sorry, but I don't know how much longer I can keep apologising. In your eyes I made a stupid decision, but in mine I made a decision that would keep my family safe."

Emily was determined to not let that go. She had done it for her family's safety, and she wasn't about to back down from that, even if it meant JJ hated her. She would do it all again if she had to.

"What's changed now though? You're still in danger. Emily, they tried to run you off the road!"

As JJ's anger rose, Emily looked down to her arm. The one that was now in a cast. Deep down, she knew this was only the beginning, and she was starting to question whether she made the right decision to come back. JJ was right, nothing had really changed, and these guys were still out there.

Somehow they had learnt that she was back, she didn't know how, but that didn't really matter. What did, was making sure that JJ and Henry were kept safe and she had already spoken to Hotch about giving them a protective detail until they were caught. If Emily wasn't up to looking after them, then she wanted to make sure they had someone that could, and Hotch had instantly agreed.

"Do you think I don't know that? Coming back was one of the biggest decisions I've ever had to make! Not only am I putting myself back in danger, but also you and Henry too!"

"Then why the hell did you come back? Nothing's changed from when you left."

Now JJ had stood up, looking down at Emily, the anger evident on her beautiful face. Even when angry, to Emily, JJ was still the most beautiful woman she had ever known.

"Because you're destroying yourself, and I won't allow that to happen."

"It's not your place to tell me what to be doing anymore."

Emily winced, and at hearing it JJ sat down where she was before. Retaking the brunette's hand hers, she squeezed softly, not wanting to get in to a full blown argument. Her head felt like it couldn't take anymore, she was so tired. The blonde wasn't sure how much more she could take, until eventually she would break down. And she didn't want Henry or Emily to see that.

"I know that, okay? But I want to do everything in my power to make things right again."

JJ could hear the sincerity in Emily's whisper and it tore at her heart. Here was this woman wanting to make everything okay, who was willing to give her everything, but JJ still couldn't forgive, however much she wanted to.

"What if you can't make things right?"

"That's a risk I'm willing to take. I just want to see you happy again, even if it's not with me. Henry deserves to see his Mom happy."

Suddenly it hit JJ how she had fallen in love with woman in the first place. Emily was the most selfless, kind, loving, caring person she had ever met. Even if it killed her, all she wanted was to see JJ happy. And that thought made the blonde's heart swell.

"What if his Mom is unhappy?"

"I'm happy as long as you're happy."

A small smile spread across JJ's face, one that made Emily's day that little bit brighter. If she could make the media liaison smile every day, then she would spend her whole life doing that. Because seeing JJ smile? It was the best thing in the world. JJ took a deep breath, willing herself to be honest. She didn't want to be with anyone else, she didn't even want to comprehend that thought. Even though she had plenty of women since Emily, not one of them compared. After each time, she found herself crying in to her pillow, just wanting to see the other woman. No other woman could fill the gaping void left by Emily, and never would.

"I don't want to move on, I don't think I can. I don't want to be with anyone else. I'm not going to be happy with anyone except you, but I don't know what to do, or how to feel. Because as much as I want to let you back in to my life, I can't."

Emily nodded, understanding what JJ was saying. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't just let Emily waltz back in to her life like nothing had happened, but she also wasn't ready to be with someone else long term. And just like JJ's, Emily's heart swelled. There was still a chance for her.

"I know I need to regain your trust again before anything else, and I'm willing to do that."

She was willing to do everything it took, if it meant she could be with JJ and their son again.

"I'm not going to keep you away from your son either. Just because things aren't okay between us, doesn't mean he should miss out."

"Thank you, Jennifer."

The name slipped from Emily's mouth and both of them winced. It was a name that was just reserved for the brunette, but JJ wasn't ready to hear it yet.

"Don't call me that."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry."

Another silence fell between them, before JJ decided that it was time for her to go. She needed to go home and get some sleep so she could bring Henry along in the morning to see his Mom. Even though she wouldn't admit it to anyone, she was oddly looking forward to it.

"You need to get some rest, and I'll be back with Henry later."

"I should, and thank you again. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"It's no problem Emily. Now, go to sleep."

JJ watched the brunette's eyes slowly shut, and for a few minutes she just watched her wife lying there peacefully, she couldn't stop the love for this woman well up inside her. Certain she was asleep; JJ stood up and placed a kiss on Emily's forehead before caressing the brunette's cheek with the back of her hand.

"I still love you Em, I probably always will."

With a heavy heart and one last caress with her hand, she turned her back on Emily before walking out of the room. What she didn't notice was the brunette's eyes flutter open.

"I still love you too Jennifer."

A few minutes after JJ left the room, Garcia came walking in. Leaning over gently, the quirky blonde gave her friend a hug and a kiss on the cheek, before sitting down in the seat that JJ had just vacated. Again, Garcia took her hand but it was nothing like it had felt with JJ. The analyst just sat there, watching the emotions flicker in the brunette's eyes.

"She still loves me Garcia."

Emily whispered, and Garcia gave a nod. She had known all along that JJ still loved Emily, and vice versa, she just hoped it wasn't too late.

"I know gorgeous; you just have to give her time."

"How much time?"

The brunette whispered again, before her eyes flickered shut. Garcia just sat there watching as Emily fell asleep. She looked so peaceful, not like she had the world on her shoulders. This was one strong woman lying in front of her, and she just hoped it wasn't too long before JJ came around. She was going to do everything that she could, to get these two back to one another. Because JJ and Emily?

They were made for each other.

**x x x**

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